Celebrating Valentine’s Day with grand gestures is perfectly fine, particularly in the early bloom of a relationship. However, for those in longstanding, secure partnerships, the day dedicated to love doesn’t necessarily warrant extraordinary celebration.
Experts point out that couples deeply rooted in their relationship often bypass the Valentine’s Day fanfare for numerous reasons. The pressure to create a perfect celebration can be overwhelming, with expectations set high for a day that falls in the often bleak and chilly month of February. “The holiday can induce anxiety for many, regardless of their relationship status, as it becomes a litmus test for the health and happiness of their connection,” shares Brooke Bralove, LCSW-C, a seasoned psychotherapist and relationship specialist.
The holiday’s traditional offerings, like cliché cards or heart-shaped novelties, might fall flat, especially for those who have celebrated many together. Moreover, the thought of venturing out into the cold for an extravagant dinner can seem less appealing for couples comfortable in their routine.
Valentine’s Day might command attention with its array of hearts, chocolates, and flowers, yet, as Bralove remarks, “Couples secure in their love find joy in expressing affection, gratitude, and commitment all year round, without the need for a special occasion. Celebrating love on February 13th or 15th can be just as meaningful without the societal pressure.”
Opting for a low-key celebration or skipping the day altogether doesn’t diminish the depth of a relationship. Here are expert insights on why Valentine’s Day might not be a priority for steadfast couples.
- Relationship Visibility Isn’t a Priority: In an era dominated by social media, Valentine’s Day might seem like an opportunity for couples to showcase their love. However, those in strong relationships recognize their bond doesn’t require public validation.
- Joy in the Everyday: For long-term couples, impromptu gestures of affection throughout the year often hold more significance than scheduled celebrations.
- Rejecting the Pressure: The day comes with high expectations, leading some couples to prefer avoiding the holiday rather than succumbing to the stress of gift-giving and elaborate plans.
- Celebrating Personal Milestones: Couples might find more joy in commemorating the dates unique to their relationship, such as the anniversary of their first meeting or other significant firsts.
- Valuing All Forms of Love: Recognizing the importance of self-love and the role it plays in a healthy relationship can lead couples to spend the day focusing on individual growth and independence.
- Maintaining Friendships: Valentine’s Day can also be an occasion to celebrate platonic relationships, emphasizing the value of friendship and family.
- Understanding Love’s True Measures: Secure couples don’t see Valentine’s Day as a benchmark for their love or commitment, understanding that their bond transcends specific dates.
- Clear Communication About Expectations: Strong relationships benefit from open discussions about holiday celebrations, ensuring both partners’ needs and desires are met.
- Focusing on What Really Matters: For deeply connected couples, the emphasis is on the everyday aspects of their relationship, rather than adhering to societal expectations of romantic celebrations.
- Emphasizing Connection Over Materialism: Some couples prefer to eschew the commercial aspect of the holiday, focusing instead on the strength and depth of their emotional connection.
- Acknowledging Continuous Effort: Recognizing that a meaningful relationship requires daily commitment and communication can diminish the importance of celebrating love on a specific day.
- Treating Every Day as Special: Ultimately, couples with a strong foundation understand that love and appreciation are not confined to a single day, choosing to celebrate their connection in varied ways throughout the year.
In essence, for those in enduring partnerships, Valentine’s Day is just another date on the calendar, not a definitive measure of their love. Choosing how and when to celebrate their relationship is a personal decision, one that reflects their understanding and respect for each other’s preferences.
